Wish List

I wish i had some of the friends i used to
I wish boys didnt suck all the time
I wish life didnt have to be so complicated
I wish school blew just a lil bit less
I wish he would just stop breaking my heart
I wish the other would fix it...but i know he wont
I wish there was someone here who could
I wish my friends would get off my back
I wish they would stop thinking im pathetic
I wish I could say they are wrong
I wish I could stop loving him
I wish I knew why I did and why I can't
I wish that it would stop
I wish I could cry without feeling weak about it
I wish I didnt feel as empty as i do right now

Doin much better since my last entry...way over him...although apparently he's still hooked! not to mention im hookin his best friend too...im so bad!
...nah i just spit mad game!

so sabres tonight...and i get to watch the love of my life...RYAN MILLER!!!
playoffs...we're kickin ass basically.

...another new boy too...but hey if things dont work out pshh idc...i dont want anything serious right now. ive learned the game and now im playin it...hope those boys can keep up, so far they dont have a clue!

well things are finally looking up...well not really...actually things are still pretty shitty but im managing to deal with it thank god!

im also feeling much better about him...im starting to put myself back together after he destroyed me.

so i should be goin clubbin this weekend with this absolutely gorgeous boy<3<3oh baby...lets just hope things go well cause i dont think i can handle anymore disappointment! besides i havent hooked up with anyone in 3 months...i think its time to get back in the game!!!

<3<3<3

one word to describe this last week...CONFUSING!!...i didnt think things could get worse than they were...and things got better...but then he called. That completely threw me off, I mean I never expected to hear from him again.

I just wish I knew what he was thinking...then I could stop myself from getting hurt again!

It just seems like too much and I cant handle all of this on my own. I dont talk to my friends cause i feel like a burden to them and party of me feels like a failure if i cant handle it myself.

They should come out with a LIFE FOR DUMMIES book...id be the first to buy it!

nothing much has changed since the last entry...i havent cried in a while tho :) but i still feel pretty shitty. not to mention midterms are this week so im pretty stressed out! lol

well yesterday was our school talent show...which was full of TALENT!! lol it was pretty amazing...especially with the sexxi custodians...there was so much testosterone on that stage! ooo baby!

today i had to get up early :/ blah...community service tho was alright...at least the old ppl were nice.

its amazing how so much can change after a few months of not writing.

well as amazing as my life was in the last entry...its just as bad now.

things with him were great...we met...we fell in love...and then before i know it...here i am sitting in a chair crying as i write a new entry...pretty lame huh. this is basically it </3. hes not the only thing i lost...i lost my confirmation sponser to...as if im not stressed out enough about the whole situation. but i guess thats the way with life is...i roll with the bunches...ive just been receiving some pretty hefty right n left hooks. hopefully it'll all be over soon. i know it can get worse...i just hope it doesnt.

wow i can never keep up with this thing can i!!

well life is basically amazing...especially with my new boy<3
i love him so much and he makes me the happiest girl in the world <3

not to mention...im chillin out with my buds tonight for some movies and bowling..its gunna be amazing!!!

6 days<3

OMG WE FINALLY HAVE POWER BACK!!

So lots to tell...

Ive basically been living at my friends houses cause my house was an ice box! and this is my first night with power.

COUNTDOWNS:
SWEET 16 PARTY: 8 days
SWEET 16: 9 days
PERMIT DAY: 10 days

so this week is going to be amazing!

So ya i basically suck at keeping up with this thing! ha ha

well basically schools pretty sweet...i love seeing my friends everyday and i dont hate any classes...yet!

although i do hate one teacher...but pretty much everyone who comes into contact with him hates him! heheh *for those of you who dont kno who...heres a hint...RULE 9!

anyways...goin to the swim meet tonight with andrea and saturday im hittin the ICON!!! for the SUGARCULT SHOW!!! hellz ya!

also...seeing gerard's new found psycho hair...pretty much put me in a state of depression!! he he

wow last night was sooo much fun! I went bowling with Rachel, Alex, Maria, Willie, and Jav...not to mention i got a pretty good score!

Big plans for Friday! Kiss the Summer Goodbye Bonfire!